Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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