i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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