I want to stick my p in your. b.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Shame - the story of my life.
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