And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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