I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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