This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
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I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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