fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
