just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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