The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
