As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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