If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
