The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
