..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
honey bunches of taint.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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