guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
