Michael Bay diarrhea
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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