quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
