I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
