They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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