I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
