I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
