you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
