do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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