I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
