in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
