There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
