Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
