i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I could fuck to npr.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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