party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
high people should be assigned attendants
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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