i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
