I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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