Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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