Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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