I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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