You can't special order awesome
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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