i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize