Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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