I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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