she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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