And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
