if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize