went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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