He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
His nipple licking is glorious
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