That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
