We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
