Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
