Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
