Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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