Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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