I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
