i think i have herpe
just one?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
