if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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