i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We left an ass print on the piano.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
