When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
