so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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