So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
