Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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