Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I believe in your delicious
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
