she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
