Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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