I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize