Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
